false victimization: a true story

And so there she sat. All alone. Not because she wanted to. Not even because they wanted her to. It was because of human things. Trivial things. Things that come about due to insecurity, miscommunication, being human.

She sat there until the cloud cleared, until every one in the room had made an exit, until all the empty chatter no longer filled the room. Was she a victim? Perhaps. But victim of what?

A victim of friendship maybe? Of misdirected words? Silence? The reality was this girl had victimized herself. There was no reason in the world for her to feel this way, alone, unwanted, dejected. She had friends. She was well-liked. Successful. Talented. Smart. But here she sat. A victim of independence. A victim of her own selfishness.

She was stuck. It was impossible for her to reach out now. Nothing seemed possible at the moment. Everything was much, much too big for her to handle by herself. She didn't want to touch anything. But was needy, oh so needy. This girl was wanting in the worst way.

She wanted love. She wanted friends. She wanted to do something.

Then the phone call came. Two phone calls. And she missed both because her phone was on silent.

She was dumb, so dumb.