past you

It's good, that you're becoming a thing of the past. That I can imagine all these skylines and rolling hills without your presence. That I no longer need the beauty of your existence to complete my own. This is what moving on feels like. 

I'm moving, because it's in my blood to be in motion. And when you stopped, I knew it was all over. I didn't want it to end, but it ended, whether I wanted it or not. Because I'm moving; I'm always moving. It's impossible for me to stop for anything, let alone anyone. 

I've already moved past so many of you in my life. I'm so tired of feeling needy simply because I wanted to need you. I didn't even need you.

So here I am, moving on, moving forward, moving past you. 

I can't stop for anyone that's not in my future, and you...

...you just stopped moving.

fair

IS everything really fair in love and war?

What's fair here right now? None of this feels fair.

She's stopped throwing stones, but now she wishes that one of them landed. That one of them broke him and everything about him, so he could stop hurting her.

She simply stands there now, standing there and waiting for...something.

She's hate admitting it, but she's waiting for him.

Why did she stop throwing stones? None of this is fair.

over

Over is such a complicated word sometimes, but all the meanings apply right now.

It's over, so now she needs to get over it. If she's honest with herself, she realizes there wasn't ever anything there - only what she put there. Only everything she built up in her mind.

And now it's over.

And everything that she put there is still in front of her.

So she needs to get over it.

What she doesn't understand is why she had to put all that there in the first place. Why she even built anything up in her mind. Why all of this had to happen again.

At least she's getting over it now. Better now than later. It's over now. That's easy enough to accept, generally speaking.

But the general public usually doesn't know anything.

defense

She was almost completely free of all limitation, and her heart was ready to fly; but it got too hard. Suddenly the clouds were gray, and the situation just became too dense - full of confusion and uncomfortable emotion. Everything she didn't ever want to experience again.

She started with one stone and then discovered she had thrown five. After the first one, it was just too easy. So she didn't stop, knowing the entire time this was not what she was supposed to be doing. She was only backing herself into the same corner she had finally grown brave enough to walk away from.

What was she doing? He wasn't a monster. She was just so scared of everything that had already happened to her. She wanted the confusion and uncomfortable emotion to go away, but she only made it worse.

And she didn't know how to stop.

Spirit

He is her imagination.

He is her creative voice.

He is the paintbrush that she picks up everyday to paint the picture he has placed in her heart.

He is the wind she feels on her face when she is completely enjoying life.

He's there when she drinks her cup of coffee in the morning, and tucks her in at night.

He is her inspiration.

He inspires her dreams.

He is the Spirit within her.

new year

This is her year. No one can take it from her. 

She stepped with unusual boldness into the angry current of the river in front of her. Why this river was destined to cut across her path was unbeknown to her. The thought of swimming, let alone wading, in its raging waters terrified her, yet her pace remained steady. 

She seemed to possess something now that she didn't possess before. This element remained unidentified, but it was incredibly alive and active. Alive and active within her. 

It is a new year. There is no more looking back for her. The only thing there is now is crossing this river. 

And so she stepped even deeper into its cold, moving waters.

she's alive part 1

Dedicated to every woman who has ever lived.

She's dancing. She's smiling. She's flying. She's exploring the world and everyone is cheering her on. She reaches beyond the sky. She's touching the sky. Alas, she's holding up the sky and everyone is rejoicing with her.

To the working woman, to the nursing woman, to the homeless woman, to the pregnant woman, to the single woman, to the fighting woman, we raise our glass. Your victory improves the rest of our worlds.

Your victory is our victory.

So why are we blind?
Why do we leave you there, dying, as the sky crashes down on you, shatters everything and leaving you in darkness?
Why do we not grasp your reaching hands that once touched the sky and now only find emptiness?
Why do we perpetrate your weakness and continue to sap your strength?
Why do we belittle your efforts and snatch away all your hope?
Why do we ignore your tears and pleas for help?

Why do we allow half of our world to deteriorate and pollute our consciences with misogyny, murder, and scandal?

Why do we settle for survival, when the opportunity to thrive is upon us?

To live is to promote life. Promoting life is the challenge all of us must rise to, for her sake. For our sake. For the sake of life.