fortress

She didn't really know what was happening. Everything around her was shaking, all the walls were crumbling, but she remained, still standing. 

She didn't resist the cries for help and the reaching hands that groped her firm walls. To do so would be cruel. Instead she welcomed the masses and opened her doors and found herself filled with burden and misery. 

But she was a strong fortress, who remained standing during the storm, and within her walls tears somehow found relief. Within her walls, the tortured somehow found safety and comfort. 

Everything around her was laid waste. An empty and barren land returned her intense gaze. The horizon whispered for to come, come find peace. The weight within her held in her place. Or was she holding the weight in place, saving the already desolate landscape from a flood of destruction.

The beating against her walls was constant. Like a drum, reminding her of her strength. She was a fortress, and although everything else around her swayed, she stood still and unmoved. 

vision

New life, new dreams, new paths up ahead. New friends, new connections, new gardens of flower and color. So many things you have given me to see. I see so many things. I'm running ahead in my own dreams.

Nobody understands it, because nobody can see it.

Yet my vision will be their reality, and that is how I will spread life. How I will create life. 

past you

It's good, that you're becoming a thing of the past. That I can imagine all these skylines and rolling hills without your presence. That I no longer need the beauty of your existence to complete my own. This is what moving on feels like. 

I'm moving, because it's in my blood to be in motion. And when you stopped, I knew it was all over. I didn't want it to end, but it ended, whether I wanted it or not. Because I'm moving; I'm always moving. It's impossible for me to stop for anything, let alone anyone. 

I've already moved past so many of you in my life. I'm so tired of feeling needy simply because I wanted to need you. I didn't even need you.

So here I am, moving on, moving forward, moving past you. 

I can't stop for anyone that's not in my future, and you...

...you just stopped moving.

fair

IS everything really fair in love and war?

What's fair here right now? None of this feels fair.

She's stopped throwing stones, but now she wishes that one of them landed. That one of them broke him and everything about him, so he could stop hurting her.

She simply stands there now, standing there and waiting for...something.

She's hate admitting it, but she's waiting for him.

Why did she stop throwing stones? None of this is fair.

over

Over is such a complicated word sometimes, but all the meanings apply right now.

It's over, so now she needs to get over it. If she's honest with herself, she realizes there wasn't ever anything there - only what she put there. Only everything she built up in her mind.

And now it's over.

And everything that she put there is still in front of her.

So she needs to get over it.

What she doesn't understand is why she had to put all that there in the first place. Why she even built anything up in her mind. Why all of this had to happen again.

At least she's getting over it now. Better now than later. It's over now. That's easy enough to accept, generally speaking.

But the general public usually doesn't know anything.

defense

She was almost completely free of all limitation, and her heart was ready to fly; but it got too hard. Suddenly the clouds were gray, and the situation just became too dense - full of confusion and uncomfortable emotion. Everything she didn't ever want to experience again.

She started with one stone and then discovered she had thrown five. After the first one, it was just too easy. So she didn't stop, knowing the entire time this was not what she was supposed to be doing. She was only backing herself into the same corner she had finally grown brave enough to walk away from.

What was she doing? He wasn't a monster. She was just so scared of everything that had already happened to her. She wanted the confusion and uncomfortable emotion to go away, but she only made it worse.

And she didn't know how to stop.

Spirit

He is her imagination.

He is her creative voice.

He is the paintbrush that she picks up everyday to paint the picture he has placed in her heart.

He is the wind she feels on her face when she is completely enjoying life.

He's there when she drinks her cup of coffee in the morning, and tucks her in at night.

He is her inspiration.

He inspires her dreams.

He is the Spirit within her.