fair

IS everything really fair in love and war?

What's fair here right now? None of this feels fair.

She's stopped throwing stones, but now she wishes that one of them landed. That one of them broke him and everything about him, so he could stop hurting her.

She simply stands there now, standing there and waiting for...something.

She's hate admitting it, but she's waiting for him.

Why did she stop throwing stones? None of this is fair.

over

Over is such a complicated word sometimes, but all the meanings apply right now.

It's over, so now she needs to get over it. If she's honest with herself, she realizes there wasn't ever anything there - only what she put there. Only everything she built up in her mind.

And now it's over.

And everything that she put there is still in front of her.

So she needs to get over it.

What she doesn't understand is why she had to put all that there in the first place. Why she even built anything up in her mind. Why all of this had to happen again.

At least she's getting over it now. Better now than later. It's over now. That's easy enough to accept, generally speaking.

But the general public usually doesn't know anything.

defense

She was almost completely free of all limitation, and her heart was ready to fly; but it got too hard. Suddenly the clouds were gray, and the situation just became too dense - full of confusion and uncomfortable emotion. Everything she didn't ever want to experience again.

She started with one stone and then discovered she had thrown five. After the first one, it was just too easy. So she didn't stop, knowing the entire time this was not what she was supposed to be doing. She was only backing herself into the same corner she had finally grown brave enough to walk away from.

What was she doing? He wasn't a monster. She was just so scared of everything that had already happened to her. She wanted the confusion and uncomfortable emotion to go away, but she only made it worse.

And she didn't know how to stop.