independence

You need nothing from others, only God.

That's what they said to her. It had brought so much joy and pain to her spirit to hear that. She needed to be independent. 

Why was it so hard, then, to completely detach herself from the world around her, all the people, all the experiences, all the desires? What did this mean? That she no longer needed people?

Of course, she needed people. She simply needed nothing from people. 

This was a message He had etched in her from the beginning, but until now it had been hidden from her. The timing was... perfect. She hated to admit it, but this was exactly what she needed right now, to need nothing from people. 

You are the apple of my eye, He was saying to her. Only I can take care of you.

It couldn't be true. How could it? Her current desire was not for Him to be the only one to take care of her. She didn't want this independence. 

But this was her original design. 

silver silence

It was happening to her again. Her words were stuck in her head and the silence that was coming out was not golden. There were so many things she wanted to say, so many more questions she wanted to ask, but she held them inside. 

She couldn't tell if she was holding these thoughts back intentionally or because she was scared or if she simply didn't think the timing was right. She knew all of them needed to be expressed eventually. To him. She just didn't know how right now. 

For now, feeling safe was good enough. Feeling supported and loved was good enough. Conversation was good enough. But she knew the word enough wasn't going to hold for long. It was already coming a part at the seams. She could feel the pressure of the pending break.

And after everything finally broke free, she had no idea what would happen. How she would feel. What he would say. 

Would there just be more silence?